The Guide to the Smartphone Etiquette Ignoramus

Let me give you some ironic ways to make sure our smartphones really make us look smart. And not dumb:

Image credit: now.msn.com

1. Do not think about the person you are talking with. Go ahead: Glance intermittently at your phone because of an incoming message. I am letting you hurt my feelings. It is okay if you do not excuse yourself. Continue typing under your nose and don’t think about me. 
2. You are asking me if it’s okay to put your phone on the dinner table while you seem so busy tinkering with it in between spoons of fettuccine. Who am I to stifle your desires? It’s perfectly fine with me. I mean, we are your friends and we can definitely understand your rudeness and disrespect. It’s okay if you violate our ‘mutual phone break and go on with your whim. 
3. Well, instant messaging? I care less about how long you spend typing your message on IM. I do not care if we have to stop our conversation just so you can reply to the person on the other line. At least, I still have time to ponder how this conversation should go. You have all the time you want. This is a free nation, right?
4. Do you think I mind being photographed while I am devouring this bowl of pasta? Of course not! Let me be your muse and make me the subject of your photo capturing prowess. I mean, I might be discovered like that ridiculously photogenic guy running a marathon. I like being the center of attention, and please make me known by making my face splattered on all the social networking sites you are subscribed to.
5. I think tweeting about our date is more exciting than having an actual date with me. Go on and tell the world how cool this dinner date is. Preserving the memory is better than participating in its creation. Don’t mind me! Go ahead and tell your friends that your date is awesome, while I wait until you finish.
6. Okay, I appreciate your responsiveness but please use that ‘reply to all’ button sparingly. Not that we want to hear what you are up to, it’s just that we do not care. Well, most of the time. Enough said.
7. Please invite me to your social messaging group. You are such a cool guy that I honestly want to know what you are doing every minute of the day. I can’t get enough of you. You are a god to worship and you know how much your friends crave for a piece of you.
8. You are worthy of constant self-promotion. I mean, it’s okay if your Facebook and Twitter accounts scream every grand episode of your existence. Pump your ego through the social networking sites and expect that you will be famous like Justin B and Snooki Polizzi. 

Pardon the use of false modesty and irony. Just sell old cellphone at cashforsmartphones.com!


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